Have you ever felt trapped by your own thoughts or emotions, and decide “not today, I’m not going to think or feel that”? An instant ease can be highly sought after, and pushing down the thoughts or emotions can feel like the only way to manage in day-to-day life. Avoiding inner experiences can be relieving. But think of this as if you are pushing an inflated beach ball down into a deep pool. It becomes more and more difficult to maintain, breath held, energy being exerted, as the inevitable pressure increases. Eventually, the ball will slip from your hands and push to the surface. This leaves you to swim back to the top to start the cycle over again. This is a metaphor that I often use, to paint a mental and emotional picture of experiential avoidance.
What is experiential avoidance (EA)?
According to the research, “Experiential avoidance refers to a phenomenon in which individuals exhibit an unwillingness to engage with certain personal experiences, including physical sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, and behavioral tendencies.” Think of this as the act of pushing the beach ball down into the water. While it’s completely understandable to want to avoid uncomfortable inner experiences, it is a maladaptive and ultimately unhelpful form of coping with discomfort. Continued avoidance, of difficult inner experiences, has longer term negative effects on our wellbeing.
The effects of experiential avoidance (EA)
“Experiential avoidance, as a maladaptive cognitive and emotional strategy, is commonly employed to evade negative experiences through mechanisms such as thought suppression, emotional repression, avoidance response, and reappraisal.”. Temporary relief of discomfort can feel like a victory in the moment. The effects of this type of avoidance, however, often build the very discomfort one is trying to ease. Over time, this can lead to increases in mental health symptoms, including (but not limited to) depression, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts. Think of this as the exertion of energy from pushing the mental beach ball back into the water, after it breaks the surface. And while continuing the avoidance cycle might seem like the only solution, there is a starting point to begin building tolerance and healing.
Healing starts with acceptance
A key component of acceptance is engaging in the process of both noticing, and nonjudgementally embracing our inner experiences. This is where we stay at the surface of the water, not having to hold our breath, and accept the beach ball’s presence. Acceptance of uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and sensations can be the foundation for the start of inner healing. It’s completely understandable to have the tendency to avoid, especially when inner experiences feel overwhelming or naturally promote avoidance as a way to cope.
Avoiding inner experiences can be a hefty beast to tame (or in this case, a beach ball). However, beginning to accept these inner experiences is a key step in ending the cycle of experiential avoidance. We simply have to accept that it is there and begin to face it, with the help of effective therapeutic tools and skills.
At Tx Harmony Counseling, we can help you recognize patterns of experiential avoidance that may be keeping you stuck. Together, we’ll build healthier ways to face and process difficult emotions, so you can move forward with greater resilience and freedom. Click HERE to contact us if you’re ready to get the help you need.
