Onwards and upwards! Welcome back to exploring the third stage in Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development. Each of Erikson’s eight stages highlights a core psychosocial conflict that shapes personality development. As a play therapist, I’ll apply Erikson’s concepts to help support your child’s brain and personality development, laying the groundwork for a fulfilling life. Let’s dive into what this stage looks like in early childhood and how we can support it through play.
Understanding the Early Childhood Stage
The phrase “play age” does not denote a timeframe, so let me set the stage clearly: we’re focusing on the age range of 3 to 6 years old in this blog. This stage is full of curiosity and exploration as your child is discovering the world and starting to test its limits. You may find your child asking, “why?” to an unrelenting extent or taking on new tasks. In other words, your child is taking initiative by exploring new things. Encouraging your child to take initiative through age-appropriate tasks, challenges, and planning fosters growth and a sense of purpose. Conversely, if you overprotect your child or criticize their ability to accomplish tasks, the child will begin to experience feelings of guilt. They may begin to feel that taking initiative is wrong, thus creating a breeding ground for self-doubt.
How Play Supports Initiative
Play is not just your child engaging in various toys for enjoyment – play is their language. Your child’s brain development takes time. While they may not yet fully articulate their needs and emotions, they are communicating through play. This is why play, especially child-led play, is so important when fostering initiative. Letting them create the story of their play, take on challenging tasks like snapping in that pesky Lego brick, and learn from safe mistakes are all ways that can build initiative within play. Specifically, role-playing is a great form of play to foster creativity, leadership, and problem-solving skills as the child is in complete control of the scenario.
Overcoming Guilt and Supporting Initiative
As adults, it is easy for us to see when a child is doing a task wrong or gets frustrated when they ask why for the hundredth time, but if we continue to apply adult expectations to a child’s world, they may begin to believe that they cannot do anything right. If your child is constantly seeking your approval or is fearful of making mistakes, chances are they are experiencing guilt instead of initiative. The good news? Small shifts can make a big difference! First and foremost, we want to encourage the efforts instead of praising the result. For more info on this dynamic, please refer to my blog Praise versus Encouragement. Another powerful way to build confidence is by letting children make safe mistakes and learn from them. For example, if they were wiggling so much in their chair that their cup of milk knocked over, we would address that accidents happen, ask what they could do differently in the future, and clean up the mess as a natural consequence. This engages their higher-level-thinking brain instead of chastising them for the mess they made. By supporting initiative now, you’re laying the foundation for a confident, capable adult later.
If you need guidance in this area, please feel free to reach out!
