Let me set the scene: You are in a group setting for the first time (school, work, friend group, etc.). A customary practice for first-time meetings is an icebreaker question or activity. They come in all shapes and sizes, but for our scenario, we will go with, “What is your biggest fear?” We would typically expect to hear fears of snakes, bugs, or heights because we have just met these people. Why should they know our deepest fears? But if the group were honest, I had bet the majority, if not all, would verbalize a fear of failure. Does that ring true for you? Well, you are in luck because today’s blog is all about redefining failure, so you are free from its barriers!
Redefining Failure
Failure is often viewed as a result or outcome. If I am not succeeding, then I have failed. This definition is harmful in so many ways. Not only does it remove the value of our attempt, but it lowers our motivation to try again. I would like to pose a new definition: failure is a lack of effort. Here is an example: You have a big presentation coming up at the end of the week and instead of doing research, building an informative PowerPoint, and practicing your presentation, you went on vacation where the presentation did not cross your mind once. There was zero effort put forth towards the goal of a successful presentation, so it goes poorly. This would fit our definition of failure in that no effort was exerted and now we have let down our peers as well as ourselves.
Let us look at the same scenario with a bit of a twist: You have a big presentation coming up at the end of the week. You spend all your spare time doing research, going over notes, and building a presentation you can be proud of. You did everything you could to prepare, but the meeting goes south. Does this scenario meet our definition of failure? No. Because failure is not an outcome. While the result may not have been what we would’ve hoped for, you still put forth considerable amounts of effort.
The Success of Trying
There is so much that occurred behind the scenes in the previous scenario that we often overlook when we view failure as a result. A true measure of success is in the try. When you tried to prepare for the presentation, you built new skills and gained knowledge that you did not have prior. When the meeting took a turn, you built resilience and gained valuable feedback and experience. Every attempt, big or small, is an opportunity to gain experience, grow, and apply the knowledge gained towards future ventures. A less-than-ideal outcome can become a success simply by the growth you incur throughout the process.
Shifting the Mindset
Redefining failure takes time as it is generally a habit we developed in childhood to equate failure with a lack of success. When you notice the thought of “What if I fail?” arise, I encourage you to challenge it with, “What can I learn?” This small reframe can make a world of difference in how you overcome obstacles and make them work for you instead of against you. If you find yourself in need of assistance in understanding the power of the try, please reach out to us by clicking HERE. We are happy to help you on your journey to freedom from failure!
