Oftentimes, when people hear the phrase “let it go”, the immediate thought is giving up, walking away, or deciding that someone, something, or someplace no longer matters. Letting go, to some, has a negative connotation and has been viewed as losing and/or a sign of weakness.
In the realm of therapy, however, the idea of letting go is hardly ever centered around quitting.
Letting go in the therapy realm is centered around releasing whatever hurt is still being held while honoring and prioritizing what matters most. Letting go is about acceptance and freedom. Letting go is releasing what is beyond the circle of control. When releasing what is not within our control, space is now open to process core feelings.
Letting Go vs. Giving Up
Letting go does not equate to minimizing needs or silencing emotions, nor is it pretending that something or someone didn’t cause pain. Letting go, in a healthy way, begins with full acknowledgement of feelings. When feelings such as disappointment, longing, sadness, anger, and/or grief come up, they are signals that something meaningful is in the process of being thought through. It is where the true work can occur.
To the contrary, giving up is grounded in the idea that nothing will ever change. Giving up subscribes fully to the notion that “this is as good as it gets,” so there’s no point in even trying. When thinking about letting go vs giving up, it is important to note that letting go sounds different.
Letting go allows for a choice or choices to be made. Letting go says, “I can choose how to respond even though I know I can’t control this”. Giving up leads to emotional collapse,e while letting go opens up emotional flexibility.
Unnecessary and Unneeded Energy
In therapy, letting go often starts by identifying where unnecessary and unneeded energy is being spent. It is awareness of thoughts, patterns, or emotions that are causing repeated stress or pain.
One example of an unnecessary energy area could be continuously waiting for an apology or to be fully understood by someone about something very important to you. Letting go is not about downplaying your views or feelings; it is about making the conscious choice to not sacrifice your emotional welfare while waiting for something outside of your circle of control.
You can still be hopeful, but happiness is not dependent on the outcome.
Letting Go is Where Healing Begins
Letting go is an ongoing process/practice with the understanding that some days will be easier than others. The art of letting go requires regular and continuous self-reflection and making room for deeper self-trust and clarity. Through compassion, support, and again, reflection, letting go no longer equates to loss, but instead becomes synonymous with making room for the next good thing.
If you are in a season of letting go, remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself grace, and continuously practice patience. Take time to ground yourself by pausing and breathing. A good rule of thumb is to always be kind to yourself and give yourself grace.
Remember, letting go is not the final destination; it is the place where growth and healing begin.
